Hilarious Hillary Poem Chapter Three
April 28, 2008
So when one night the time was right
She laid her trump-cards down
The winds of fate that blew of late
Would turn the tide around
The G-O-P had ceased to be
In power any more
For that is why she did not try
In twenty, zero, four.
*
Her soul assured, she gave the word
To let the fight begin
She made advance, there’d be no chance
That some one else could win
The early states would vote at rates,
So close she could not lose:
She thought no foe could raise the dough
To quench the lighted fuse
*
And just in case it was a race
She had another plan
With nought to lose, she still could use
Her loyal, cheating, man
He’d yell insults to get results
By slinging lots of mud
While she stood back and dodged the flack,
As if she wore no blood
*
And more than that, she filled her hat
With superdelegates
Who backed her run by two-to-one
And helped her hedge her bets
The people’s bane would help maintain
Her aristocracy
These democrats could call the match
Undemocratic’ly
*
With all this done she soaked up sun
And tried to part the clouds
Her soul was bared as if she cared
About the thronging crowds
With moistened eyes and gentle sighs
She basked in all the talk
But on her mount she did not count
On good old black Barack
May 30, 2008 at 3:44 pm
my 14 yr old son’s contribution to the POlitical Muse (set to Twsa The Night Before Christmas):
Twas the night post-Inauguration, when all through the White House
Every creature sighed relief, to soon be rid of Bush Louse;
The wire taps were hung by the chimney with care,
So future generations could finally clear the air;
The soldiers were nestled all snug in their cots,
While visions of homecoming would soon be their lot;
Obama in his kerchief and Michelle in her cap,
Had just nestled in for the Presidential Family nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a shriek,
Obama sprang from his bed to see an abominable freak.
Away to Security he flew like a flash,
Tore open the door, and with skinny legs dashed.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave a frightening sight of the horror below,
When what to his incredulous eyes should appear,
But Hillary Clinton with lobbyists, and spears!
With an angry Old Hubby, so gouty and thick,
He knew in a flash it was Willy The Slick.
More rapid than her lies, their lapdogs they came,
And they snarled, and beat them, and called them by name;
Now Boxer! Now Bosley! Now Bradley and Easely!
On Gephardt! On Feinstein! On Rendell and Berkley!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now steal away, steal away, steal away all!
As hypocrisy before the lame journalists fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, grow to a lie,
So up to the White House, the delegates they flew,
With a cache full of PAC’s and Hillary too.
And then, in a twinkling he heard on the roof
The scratching, and gnashing of each little sleuth.
As he drew in his hand to avoid being bitten
Down the chimney came Hill(ary), and man was she Bitchin!
She was dressed all in yellow, from her head to her toe,
And her clothes shined neon with a sickening glow.
A bevy of Senators she had flung in her bag,
And they screamed and kicked, “put us down you old Hag!”
Her eyes, how they glowered, her teeth they did gnash!
Kiki McClean beat them back with a lash!
Her back-stabbing mouth was drawn up in a sneer,
And there was an aroma of whiskey and beer.
The stumps of her foes, she held in her teeth
She severed and grinded their bones like a beast;
She had a broad ass and a ginormous belly
But don’t poke fun, or she’ll turn you to jelly!
She was spiteful and snide, a right nasty old cow,
No wonder she lost! Obama’s President now!
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
warned to be careful or else to be dead.
She whispered some words, from behind a man perked
Oh look, it’s her husband, Bill Clinton, that jerk.
Up to his lips, the doobie, it rose
And he DID inhale, you foolish Bozo!
Down Penn Ave they did scamper, no more to be heard,
Michelle and Barack were rid of the bird.
I heard her exclaim, as she fled from the press
God Damnit, Bill! TAKE OFF THAT BLUE DRESS!!
June 3, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Very funny. Your son obviously has ability with rhyme and meter. He should develop it and become an epic poet like me!
-The Author
June 7, 2008 at 5:38 am
Ah! Beware the dreaded Jabberwocky.
Sadly, Hillary did not take heed.
Had she divorced and kicked the butt of Sir William she would have gained great credibility. Her failure to act exposes a political ambition that makes us very nervous.