Some of you will remember that I wrote the hilarious Hillary poem some time ago. I stopped at chapter five because I felt that the election would be over after Texas and Ohio. Boy was I wrong! In the meantime, I got sidetracked writing my essays on how the Romans used to live on Mars. Yep, it’s me, the crazy SkyPath Crusade blogger.
But now, given recent turn of events, I’ve decided to post the poem one more time for old times sake. If people really like it, I might actually write some more of it. After all, a lot has happened since chapter five.
In the meantime, I’m still writing more posts about Romans on Mars.
Note to the reader: The hillary poem is five chapters long and is posted in chronological order beginning with chapter one.
Hilarious Hillary Poem: Chapter One
April 28, 2008
Oh, those were the days when our brains were tazed
Back in Twenty, Zero, Eight.
When the times were tough and the men were gruff
When they had to go on dates
It was “Clinton” this, and “Clinton that,”
And “Gosh, I think she’s smart,”
He’d just nod his head as he hoped instead
That the super bowl would start
*
As the time progressed he’d have hardly guessed
That she’d still be in the thing
But to his surprise right before his eyes
She had still not left the ring
She had just one foe who withstood her blow:
Who had come from a mixed descent
Who presumed that he, might yet somehow be,
The first black president
*
But he had no chance, for she wore the pants
From the time that it had begun
For she often basked in the questions asked,
Like the rays of a gentle sun
When her voice grew soft, then the gloves came off,
Like the trick of a clever crook
Though she used her left, she could still be deft,
With a nasty right-hand hook
*
*
Oh, those were the days when our brains were tazed
In Twenty, Zero, Eight.
When the times were tough and the men were gruff
‘When they had to go on dates
They would never squawk when their women talked,
Though by now they were awful scared,
For a silent sigh, and lowered eye,
Was the most that they ever dared!
Hilarious Hillary Poem Chapter Two
April 28, 2008
To Little Rock in Arkansas
The dreaded Clintons came
The Southern state that once was great
Would never be the same
We loathed their guts so very much
They lost their second bid
But then they won it back again
’Cuz Rodham had a kid
*
In 92 the Clinton crew
Had bigger fish to fry
The faithful wife gave Bill his life
By standing by her guy
The Senior Bush who lacked a push
Became their only foe
Yet still they only won the race
Because of Ross Perot
*
For eight more years with lies and tears
They kept their foes in check
The crafty two knew how to brew
A storm as fierce as heck
The democrats who gave congrats
For what they did to Starr
Will change their tune so very soon
When Rodham goes too far
*
So when at last their term was passed
We hoped they’d fade away
But to our fear they made it clear
Their names were here to stay
As we rejoiced with all the boys
We heard foreboding news:
She took a place inside a race
She knew she could not lose
*
In old New York she went to work:
A state completely blue
Their hearts were sold, she won it cold
With plenty hull’baloo
She took the floor and with hopes to score
In front of ev’ryone
The comeback kid would make her bid
When Bush’s term was done
Hilarious Hillary Poem Chapter Three
April 28, 2008
So when one night the time was right
She laid her trump-cards down
The winds of fate that blew of late
Would turn the tide around
The G-O-P had ceased to be
In power any more
For that is why she did not try
In twenty, zero, four.
*
Her soul assured, she gave the word
To let the fight begin
She made advance, there’d be no chance
That some one else could win
The early states would vote at rates,
So close she could not lose:
She thought no foe could raise the dough
To quench the lighted fuse
*
And just in case it was a race
She had another plan
With nought to lose, she still could use
Her loyal, cheating, man
He’d yell insults to get results
By slinging lots of mud
While she stood back and dodged the flack,
As if she wore no blood
*
And more than that, she filled her hat
With superdelegates
Who backed her run by two-to-one
And helped her hedge her bets
The people’s bane would help maintain
Her aristocracy
These democrats could call the match
Undemocratic’ly
*
With all this done she soaked up sun
And tried to part the clouds
Her soul was bared as if she cared
About the thronging crowds
With moistened eyes and gentle sighs
She basked in all the talk
But on her mount she did not count
On good old black Barack
